Being Known

Blizzard Day. World wrapped in whirling crystals, snowglobe kind of day.

And in it, a quiet time of contemplation on God’s amazing love and KNOWLEDGE of me.

I travel in a multitude of social spheres. I am an integral part of varying circles. I find myself thinking, sometimes, how each connection only knows and understands a particular part of me-that my full self remains veiled because the roles I have are different.

My husband doesn’t always understand me,  my children haven’t yet looked beyond the needs I can fulfill to even try. The family I grew up with, because of time and circumstance, only sees a portion of who I am-who I am trying to be. Coworkers do not see me fully as we pass each day, head down to the task at hand.

And if the truth be told, I don’t fully know or understand me-who I am, why I do what I do, what is best for me, how I can best use my talents and fill my needs, how do I balance all that I am and need to be?

I miss places inside of me that I don’t even know are there.

Who am I? I am a mama, a teacher, a sister, a friend, neighbor, a daughter, a wife. I am an errand-runner, cook, laundress, playmate. I am a servant and support system. I am a prayer warrior and in need of prayers. I am a writer and artist. I am an adopted child of the King!

And all of who I am needs to be understood, in order to live fully as intended.

Today, the cream that rises to the surface is that, undeniably, I am FULLY KNOWN by the One that matters most. I heave a sigh of relieve and gratitude that there is One who knows me fully and completely.

**1 Cor. 13:12  I have been FULLY UNDERSTOOD

FULLY is the word that makes my heart leap today.  Epiginosko: Thoroughly acquainted with.  To recognize by sight, hearing, certain signs-to perceive who a person is. To understand.

I may not, will not , fully understand my God—the Creator of the Universe who crafted my soul out of love from the dust of my mother’s womb, but HE FULLY UNDERSTANDS ME!

With full disclosure comes the need for inhuman forgiveness and patience and mercy. With knowledge comes an understanding that drains away the dross and fully comprehends the whole of me and the plan for me. With knowledge of who I am also comes encouragement, opportunity and help—gentle pushing or strong leading down paths designed explicitly for me.

Today I rest in that truth-a truth that will never change, a truth I can count on and draw strength from. In moments of self-doubt, misunderstanding, confusion—the ‘nobody understands me’ kind of days, I trust Him who fully understands me better than myself. And I trust what He does with that knowledge. I will step to the side and leave the steering to the Captain who understands both the ship and the seas.

Psalm 139 Thou searchest out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.

Psalm 44:21 For He knows the secrets of the heart.

Psalm 94:11 Our thoughts are a mere breath and He knows them!

Ephesians 2:4ff But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us…made us alive together with Christ…

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About An Earthen Vessel--Terri Apgar

Wife of one, mother of three, so grateful for God's grace--that's me. I'm just tucked into my bay window, opening my heart to God and trying to be brave about letting Him use all that He has crafted inside me to His glory.
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2 Responses to Being Known

  1. Bill Frank says:

    Terri,

    I truly find your content extremely inspirational! Remember the V.B.S. song— ‘Our God is so big, there is nothing our God cannot do….” Or, in this case, nothing that He doesn’t know. Up to and especially including US!

    Thanks for reminding me today! It is actually very comforting. In spite of knowing me as He does, that He would want fellowship with me. I bow down in eternal gratitude!

    • Oh, YES, Bill! He’s so big! I find I have to constantly remind myself of that and that I can’t limit Him. Being fully known is both a heart-melting relief (and gratitude for the beloved grace that comes with that) and terrifying truth, isn’t it?

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