Nestling into the Heart of God

Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.”


I am on a journey of the heart. My destination is the heart of God, and my purpose is to unite my heart with His. What pushes me out onto the sidewalk of this path is a calling from Him that rings out over an often discontent heart of my own.

Though frustrated by a lack of heart-fulfillment in worship, and tangled by the obligations of this world, I seek not to judge hearts of others, not to blame, not to look for reasons outside of my control. Instead, the only journey I can take is down the particular path set before my own feet. I can’t take my husband, or my children, or my friends, or mother, or coworkers, or my preacher or elders, or fabulous sisters in Christ. This is a journey on which my only companion is my mighty, loving Jehovah Father.

I desire to find God’s heart, and come to nestle inside it even more deeply than I already have.

The wild and wonderful thing about this journey, is that I am INVITED BY GOD to make this trip. And the destination is secure and assured. And it will not be a lonely journey!

With all the church-going, scheduled fellowship, working in a spiritual desert, and busyness of managing Life, the beating of my heart often becomes numb to the riches of God’s passion and deep, aching love between us. I can easily live on auto-pilot. I need to make this journey often to refresh my soul. Just like reviewing love languages on a wedding anniversary keeps the love committed, deep, and VIBRANT, I am retreating to a space with the Bridegroom to learn again of His wondrous love. I may discover aspects I’ve forgotten, or discover new ones. I am here to strengthen the love as He intends it, and to fulfill its potential.

Today I am pausing to look at some signposts of God, planted in His word to remind me how to travel and where to go.

Isaiah 29:13 The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.

Deuteronomy 4:29  “But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Deuteronomy 6:5  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

Sign #1: What is bitter-tasting to God, and the opposite of what He desires and deserves is my on spiritual auto-pilot in worship and living.

Sign #2: Seek. Seek Him entirely. Let this journey absorb all my moments and every crevice of my heart. This is not a passive relationship, nor is it built by church leaders or friends. I must seek Him.

Sign #3: Love Him. LOVE Him. Yes, obey. Yes, respect. Yes, learn about Him so I can understand His will. But most importantly, LOVE Him. Completely. Unconditionally. Constantly.

The word for love in Deuteronomly 6:5 is bha (‘ahab). Not being a Hebrew scholar, I rely on those who are, and the interpretive meanings of this word in this place are: to love; human love for another; includes family and sexual; human appetite for objects such as food, drink, sleep wisdom; human love for God; act of being a friend; lover; God’s love toward man; lovely; loveable.

This is not phileo, agape, storge, eros love. It seems to be ALL of that. Intimate, complete, companionable, passionate, deep groaning love.

It’s exciting love! And difficult. Some of us have hearts that relinquish such love with great difficulty. Human disappointment, personality differences, stubbornness, ego…all these things make it more difficult for some than others. More on that later (Let’s think about what makes this hard for us and meet back here another time.).

I think that’s why Jesus wants us to become like little children. In the best sense, they love us unconditionally. Easily. Freely. Completely.

For today, I am choosing to focus on the loving aspect of God’s heart. I will not wrestle with trying to anticipate and understand His will for my future. I will not compare my imperfect, sinful, selfish self with His glory. I will not meditate on His church and dwell on shortcomings. I won’t even ponder the weight of this broken world in contrast to His heart.

Instead, I am like the robin in my barn I’ve been watching all summer. She returns to a nest that has remained over multiple seasons again and again to raise her precious clutches. She nests in the safety and security of what has already proven to be dependable and strong, time after time.

I am returning to nest in the love of God. Back to John 3:16, I touch that stone of remembrance again and embrace the love that motivates God toward His human creation.

He loved us all into creation with a plan for grace and union. His love goes deeper than all understanding.

For today I am here (Can we be here together, you and I?):

For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

God IS love. 1 John 4:8

Who shall separate us from the LOVE of Christ? Romans 8:35

Your LOVE, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
    your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
    your justice like the great deep.
    You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
How priceless is your UNFAILING LOVE, O God!
    People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
    you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
    in your light we see light.

Psalm 36:5-9 (NIV)

Blessings be on your own journey into the heart of God.100_6199


About An Earthen Vessel--Terri Apgar

Wife of one, mother of three, so grateful for God's grace--that's me. I'm just tucked into my bay window, opening my heart to God and trying to be brave about letting Him use all that He has crafted inside me to His glory.
This entry was posted in Spiritual Transformation, The Walk, Uncategorized, Worship. Bookmark the permalink.

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