I’ve been digging deep lately, trying to grasp this laying my heart open for God to
do His divine work thing. Every new dawn brings the familiar task of wrestling
my own will out of the way and tuning my ears, and eyes, lips and feet and
hands to the possibilities that He provides. Sometimes I’m too much in a rush,
too preoccupied, or too willful to see where He’s bringing me. But I’m trying.
He’s a God of fresh starts and I am thankful for His daily grace.

I am wrestling with change, with transformation. It seems that I am always on the
brink of change: change in roles, change in age (and all the physical shifts
that brings!), change in church leadership, change in seasons-of life and of
earth, change in health, change in work.

Godis doing something. I’m not yet sure what, or how long it will take (the rest
of my Earth days, I imagine!), or who He’ll bring along with me, but something’s

Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which
is your spiritual worship
.  Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. RSV

God talks about change. He’s the Master of it, and He calls me into it. He asks
that I give myself over to it.

“Present your bodies as a living sacrifice.” In the Greek, “to set at hand” One of the ideas
connected to this is ‘to place a person or thing at one’s disposal’.

This implies that I will be used for something, by Someone. This IS my worship. This
sacrifice, this laying open of heart and life comes with me out of the pew,
through the doors, into my car, to restaurants. It’s in my kitchen cabinets, on  shopping trips, tucked into work places, the family room, bedroom, my friendships and marriage.

If I present myself, then I am voluntarily surrendering, placing all that is me—time,
talent, words, service, money, things, children, husband, friends, work- at His

And it will change me.

2 Corinthians 3:12-18 v. 18 And we all, with unveiled face, BEHOLDING THE GLORY OF THE LORD, ARE being changed into his likeness from one degree of glory to
another, for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

The origin of this glory that is mine is not my own will, or decision, or act—it is
by beholding the glory of the Lord that I gleam HIS glory.

Some people are better at gleaming than I am. I am kind of a mess. My house is
moderately clean, but never gleaming. Years of unfiltered well-water and dog
hair, and a busy schedule have taken care of that. But there is a life-gleaming that can happen that is not dependent on me.

This gleaming, this transformation, happened to Jesus while He was praying.  How do I become able to spiritually gleam? Walk in His presence. Lift my face to Him. How do I do that? Drink of His word in study, pray, mediate on His wisdom, all with the purpose of

Here’s what I hear God saying to me in all of this, in the middle of work upheaval,
and family shifts, growing-into-adulthood children, and aging parents:

Don’t study without the intention of change! Don’t start a conversation with Me unless you are open to change! Don’t spend time mulling over my words unless you are willing to let them CHANGE YOU! Don’t worship Me unless you sacrifice all of who you are and what you want to me so that I can TRANSFORM YOU! And, by the way, that verb ‘ARE’ that my servant, Paul, uses in 2 Corinthians 3:18 means this is an all-the-time, ongoing, not just once at baptism  experience. It’s a constant, pulsing rearrangement of spiritual cells by my Hand from the moment you choose Me and choose to walk by My side!

About An Earthen Vessel--Terri Apgar

Wife of one, mother of three, so grateful for God's grace--that's me. I'm just tucked into my bay window, opening my heart to God and trying to be brave about letting Him use all that He has crafted inside me to His glory.
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2 Responses to Change

  1. Sue Bell says:

    Thank you for the admonition to not read God’s words or talk to him without an attitude of being changed for him.

  2. Thank you for your openness for change and transformation. I especially appreciated the observation near the end about not only letting change occur at our baptism. I sense that many Christians intellectually know that change is a lifelong process, but through our routines, our vocabulary, and our distractions, we sometimes isolate salvation as only present at our baptism. Even our famous/infamous “steps to salvation” plan culminates with baptism with only an implied working out of our salvation for the rest of our life. I strongly believe that God calls us to do more than simply warm the pew (or chair) every Sunday and Wednesday. Thanks for the encouragement to be that type of Christian.

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